wackology

11am-12pm

2006-04-28T10:20:00.000+08:00

I used to hate the way my Quantitative Methods lecturer kicks students out of the lecture theatre for talking.

Now I love the way he says "I'm having a wonderful day" after kicking 6 students out of the lecture.

He did a survey to get feedback from students on how they found the subject and if he's doing a good job, and was reporting back to us his survey findings.

"Some students say they hate my humour. Some students say they like my humour."

"That's odd. I dont' remember using any."

Thoughts

2006-04-26T10:20:00.000+08:00

*****

I questioned if wine is good for cough and flu. I mean, after all, people always claim that wine is good for health. So I decided that I should carry out the experiment. There were not many subjects who were down with flu who were willing to undertake this study, so I thought I should sacrifice myself for science.

I woke up the next morning after my drinking experiment, and tried to cough. *Cough cough* Eh, no phlegm, i thought. Brilliant, I must have been cured. I knew it. Alcohol IS good for you. I'll write a thesis about this, and maybe be the first Malaysian to receive a Nobel.

Much later, I coughed again. This time, with super thick phlegm. Oh. So when I coughed this morning, the phlegm was so thick that it didn't came out, and I didn't feel it's existence. Oh well.

*****

I'm now writing this in the computer lab in the Union House. Before I'm here at the fourth floor writing rubbish, I was eating lunch.

Lunch was pretty bad. I forgot that the vege from that shop was particularly horrible, so I could only eat the sweet and sour pork with rice. I was eating outside at the courtyard, where there were so many others enjoying or looking for lunch too. Sometimes, when I get too bored, I would feed some of them, and be entertained.

I observed that different birds have different appetite. The smaller ones, the I-have-no-idea-what-species-they-are-but-i-call-them-pigeons-anyway ones, like rice. While the bigger white ones which looks like mini version of a sea gull, prefer tomatos. Today the pigeon-lookalikes were well behaved, so they got some of the rice they wanted, but the mini sea gull behaved badly. It flapped it's wings in front of me asking for food. Stupid little sea gull ain't got no tomatos from me.

*****

Before lunch I went to the toilet. As I went in, I saw, walking out, a short techno chinese guy, with a cap to press down his long thick hair and cover his face, a thick jacket, listening to ridiculously huge headphones in the era of cool ipod earphones. I went through the second door, and out came Mr Austin Powers 2. Feeling rather average (which is another word for normal), I just realised how colourful this world really is.

*****

U know, writing bull crap feels really good. I wonder how it feels to read bull crap.

I was talking to it.

2006-04-12T21:57:00.000+08:00

U know how slippery soap bars can get when u bathe.

I dropped it while bathing. "Ooopps"

I picked it up, and noticed some odd flat dents on some corners - must have been a hard fall. Washed the bar of soap, and then pat it apologetically before placing it onto the bar soap holder.

Ploop.

It slipped out of my hands again.

"Oohh my god. I'm really sooorry"

I hope it heard me.

Another year less to live

2006-04-11T15:12:00.000+08:00

Specially to

Jo Ann Jonathan Kai Li Melissa Michelle Shir Li Su Min Suba Timothy Vivienne Wenting Yee Man and Omega Sie Ming Yen Khai Toh Sin Juwen Louis Pang Grace Ruth Dot Sean Neil Yoke Ling Ern Yee Percy Donny

and all those unfortunate souls whom I cannot remember their names (Really sorry!)

And Jo Ann. Lol. Why??

I'm sorry carpet : Part 3 (Final)

2006-03-29T11:21:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry carpet - part 2

2006-03-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry carpet - part 1

2006-03-18T14:02:00.000+08:00

My housemate said that I had some issues with the carpet that day.

I couldn't agree more.

Busy busy

2006-03-15T09:18:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone. Sorry for the not updating of my blog. I'm working on some .gifs animated pictures to be posted in the not too distant future. Until then, thank you for your patience (if you do wait for my updates)

Feel the lameness.

2006-03-10T14:51:00.000+08:00

Here's a joke i got from my friend:

Oh wait... disclaimer first - The name Superman has been used illegally without the permission of whoever who owns the rights to him. Okay. Let's continue.

Why is it that Superman flew like this (one hand extended, one hand at waist) in the past

and like this (both hands extended) now?

Click here for the answer.

Useless observation #5

2006-03-09T11:41:00.000+08:00

They have a condom vending machine in the male toilet in the Union House. 2 types for you to choose actually. 2 dollars for extra pleasure, or tasty treat.

Useless Observation #4

2006-03-06T17:26:00.000+08:00

This old tram driver with white hair was sucking a lolly-pop while manoeuvring a tram. It must have felt really good to be young again.

Useless Observation #3

2006-03-06T17:16:00.000+08:00

How to know that she's from Malaysia:

"Oh excuse me, you bought that clothe rack? How much is it?"

"Oh it's 9 dollars"

"Oh 9 dollars... (*mumbles to herself) 9 times 3, 27... (*nods head)"

Useless observation #2

2006-03-05T16:36:00.000+08:00

How to know that he's from Malaysia:
He proudly wears the t-shirt which says www.lowyat.net

Useless observation #1

2006-03-05T16:35:00.000+08:00

One of my shirt smells like Indomie... in a good way.

Yeah I'm fine

2006-02-17T20:45:00.000+08:00

What I learnt, experienced in just a matter of 3 days is just awesome. I'm tired, worn out, but I'm ready for more.

*Note to readers. This will probably be a more serious I'm-telling-you-bout-my-life kinda post, not my usual rubbish the-funny-side-of-my-life post. Strictly for friends who know me. I've warned you. Read more at your own risk.

Really.

Yeah, click the close button.

Fine fine. Read on.

I'm serious. It's going to be boring.

Right whatever.

Let's talk about my

1) Flight
Business class is gooood. And oh Steph and Kalyn, I told you it's First Class. My mistake. I think airlines reserve the better airstewardesses for the business class. Yeah the ones you see in economy is probably the shittier ones, those who didn't pass with flyin colours. They smile so much at you, they are so polite with everything, they are prettier, and they so obediently serve you champagne before the chief air steward sees you and go "Hah. Student drinking haar??") Those seats are amazing. There's no such thing as leg room - the term doesn't need to exist. Stretch your leg all you want, your toes will never touch the seat in front of you. Wonderful start.

2) Accomodation
My apartment is comfortable. I've got quite a big room to myself, a comfortable bed, with cheap pillows which I bought myself, and a quilt which I bought a day later after regretfully enduring a blanketless cold night. There's no more need to boil water - tap water is safe. I found an old plastic fork in one of the sofas, and a packet of instant popcorns kindly left for us by our seniors.

3) Money
Don't bother converting anything into Malaysian ringgit. When you get AUS350 a month to survive, just considering them in Aussie dollars is expensive enough. And then, there are seniors who'll teach you every trick and way to help save that dollar.

4) Handphone
My number is 0422 447 873. God knows what's the Australian phone code and how you can dial my number from Malaysia.

5) Weather
Aircond-ed Malaysia. It's the end of summer, so you have hot Malaysian sun, with a super gigantic invisible aircond blowing cool air at you.

6) People
Lovely people. Amazing friends.

7) Me
I'm fine. I'm tired. I'm having so much fun. I miss my friends in Malaysia. It's not time to go home yet.

Oh hey you

2006-02-14T11:23:00.000+08:00

Hey you. Yeah, am leaving today. Thanks for taking care of me and teaching me how to survive KL when I was just a kampung kid. I learned tonnes of things. Oh, and you gotta learn how to look at the brighter side of thinks, - you'll be a much happier person. You'll do well in ur exams la, don't have to wish you much luck. Take care of Archer, I'll come back in a year's time to see him.

Oh, and you too. Thanks for the KungFu Kid thingy. I wanted one for myself but I "mm seh tak" buy it. Lol. I think we do have similar taste. Thanks. Have fun in UK, you'll do well. Don't worry so much bout packing and leaving, I'm sure everything will be okay. Just. lol. Be careful wif alcohol.

Lol. Of course I din forget about you. I'm just a little too tall, that's all. Joking joking. Well, I'll definitely miss you. Take care, have fun and stay the same, ya? And oh, be careful of the kids in kindergarten okay? I dun think I've to worry about you - you'll do fine. I'm sure I'll see you again.

Oh yeah you. Lol. Man, it's been real fun having you in class. I've to admit, I found you real irritating in the beginning, but in the end, I couldn't be more glad to know you. I don't know if it's right to say this to you, but - stay the same. Haha, don't want to see a serious you in Melbourne in 2 years time.

Haha, you? I'll be seeing you in Melbourne lah.

Oh yeah, you - how's New Zealand? Take care and have fun over there. I'm sure I'll see you on MSN.

And you all. All those who reads my blog. Sorry I didn't update it for so long. I was really busy with my packing and Chinese New Year. Anyway, I needed a break from blogging for a while. No worries. I think I'll start posting more often from now on. Take care and all the best to everyone.

*You should know which 'you' you are.

It's that time of the year again...

2006-01-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

Help for idiots 101

2006-01-21T23:38:00.000+08:00

Scenario:

Mum complains that the ceiling fan is making noises when turning, so she sents you to check it. You turn it on and let it spin a little, then switch it off.

Hmmm. You need to climb up the ladder to have a look at it.

You dont' want to wait for it to stop spinning, so you thought of giving it some 'manual braking' with your hand.

After all, ceiling fans are not THAT dangerous. (Mythbusters on Channel 50 says so. Normal ceiling fans can't chop your head off)

PAANG! The fan blade hit the beam, and a small piece of cement got chipped off. Good thing it wasn't your head.

What? Panicking? Don't know what to do? No worries!

Solution to problem:

Very easy step by step DIY #67 - How to plaster your beam : Tips for you morons out there

1. Pour some white cement powder into container.
2. Add water excessively. Make sure cement mixture is too watery.
3. Realise your own stupidity and add more cement powder to make mixture very dry.
4. Repeat step 2.
5. Mutter a few curses under your breath.
6. Add a little more cement powder. Your plaster mixture is now ready.
7. Plaster your beam.

The result:

There, it's not that difficult being an idiot right?

My bloody tooth

2006-01-09T13:03:00.000+08:00

My trip to the dental surgeon this time was not what I had expected.

She jabbed the shringe and pumped anaesthetic into my gums.

"Which college do you go to, boy?"

"Tailoor's Corlege" I replied, as the right side of my jaw started to feel numb.

"Taylors? Oh I just sent my twin children there yesterday"

And that's the beginning of our long conversation.

She waited for the anaesthetic to take effect, then began cutting open my gums. " You know, I brought my twins up to KL yesterday for the education fair in KLCC."

"Mmm Mmm. Breeally? Ai bwas there twoo"

"You were at the fair too?"

"Nooh, jerse shworpping"

And soon, she was drilling into my molar tooth. Nggeeeeeeeeeeeeee

"I sent both my children to Subang after that. They are staying at one of those houses near the college." Nggggeeeeeeeeeeeee

"Haw bwuch?" as she stopped the drilling.

"250 a person"

"Mmmmm. Tat's cheeep." Ngggeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The operation went on as I mmm-ed my way through it. You get the idea.

And for being such a cooperative (she said that) and friendly patient, I got extra discount. How nice.

And here's the bloodiness. Be warned.

Where's that darn remote control

2006-01-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

Gosh, I'm leaving for Melbourne soon. Too soon.

I suddenly want to stay longer in Malaysia. There are still so many friends I need to sit down and have a nice long chat with, and say goodbye. There are still so many unfinished business.

If only I can pause the time everytime I'm happy.

And press the rewind button to go back and relive all the wonderful moments of my college life.

And hit the fast forward button to skip all my not so fun moments, including exams.

Shit. Creating all these remote control buttons with my Adobe Photoshop actually made me believe for that one moment that these buttons do really exist. Ah, if only I can pause that one moment.

I just hate the fact that life has to go on. Sigh.

A summary of a short journey.

2006-01-02T00:41:00.000+08:00

I've gotta say, my 5-day trip to Hong Kong and Shen Zhen is one of my best holidays ever. Though, it could have been better, Steph.

I saw so much, and I learned so much. Life's precious little lessons.

I know how dirty politics is, and I'll never put my foot into it. I realised that I'm much bigger and better than all this shit.

And I plan to keep it that way.

I know that sometimes people don't see me the way I see myself. People may hate me. People may find me strange.

It's alright. Even if the Shen Zhen Airport immigration authorities think that I'm an alien, I'm fine with them. Have a good hearty laugh, and put everything you don't like behind you.

Money. You want a Disney castle made of crystals and precious gems? Money will take care of that for you.

But I appreciate family happiness more.

Happy New Year everyone.

Giving it all that you've got

2005-12-28T15:19:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented

as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then,

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,

B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 127%

will take you.

Oh, gotta sleep early tonight.

2005-12-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

Am leaving for Hong Kong tomorrow at 8am.

And to everyone. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

I felt so stupid...

2005-12-19T19:55:00.000+08:00

This happened a few weeks back. I was in college helping out - and I saw my mum's friend:

Oh, that's Mrs Loh. I'll just go say hi to her.

Hello? Mrs Loh?

Yeah, you look familiar. You are Ja...

Jey Sern. Mrs Choo's son.. Remember?

Yeah yeah..

Okay conversation still fine till then. I spotted her child standing next to her. I tried to be politely inquisitive.

Oh, your son?

No, my daughter.

Shit

I mean, how can he, i mean she, be a she? Argh... My mum had a good laugh anyway.

Perhaps you didn't notice it?

2005-12-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

Except Isaac. He found the answer.

Season finale : Episode 4

2005-12-09T20:10:00.000+08:00

Episode 3 : The fight

2005-12-07T23:14:00.000+08:00

Fight Scene 1 : The hacking

Fight Scene 2 : The Matrix

Fight Scene 3 : The Kill

*Apologies to non-broadband users. These .gif files are in total 1mb large. It may take a while to load..*

Second episode

2005-12-06T21:29:00.000+08:00

Finally. Episode one

2005-11-22T17:17:00.000+08:00

*sorry it took me so long. My 14 minute class video took me more than 20 man hours to complete. phew.

*and forgive me for the extremely cheesy dialogues. I'd make a lousy script writer. Am just experimenting with my camera, Lego, and adobe photoshop. And I made the gif picture using this really simple freeware 31kb large.

Zorro

2005-11-07T13:33:00.000+08:00

*I will post a new episode every 3-5 days. Am busy making my class video now, so I don't really have much time to create any lego sword fighting scenes. Also, my camera is rather reluctant to turn on, but i'll try my best to find time to do everything between my Accounts and Economics paper. Thank you.

Older

2005-10-27T02:39:00.000+08:00

I wanted to be 17. I wanted to drive.

I've wanted to be 21. Wondered how the casino is like.

And now I want to be 15 again. I miss being a kid. A young teenager...

Really, Eu Shen. I want to be a kid again.

Gardenia

2005-10-26T16:31:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when you live in a house with 5 other boys who are too bored of studying for exams, you can end up doing things you'd never expect yourself to do.

I know what you are thinking. No, damn it. We are not gays.

My housemate once had a packet of Gardenia bread which had passed the expiry date. He wanted to dispose it. There were a few ways we could do it.

Option 1: Throw it into the rubbish bin.

Option 2: Hold a Bread Throwing Competition on the balcony.

We chose option 2.

(obviously. I wouldn't write a post on how I gracefully opened the rubbish bin lid and placed the rotten bread into it.)

We competed to see who could throw the furthest. Those two Physics guys used their projectile motion knowledge, while I used my common sense. Nobody won, because it's difficult to compare the distance of our littered pieces of bread at night. But, it was fun.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I live on the 11th floor?

Guilt and satisfaction

2005-10-14T08:16:00.000+08:00

I deleted my previous post because I felt really bad after writing about it. Well, Ah Bai's a disgusting, terribly useless housemate, but I guess I should give him a chance - or at least, just ignore his existence. I wouldn't want someone to write bad about me on the Internet anyway...

And here's something interesting - a portion of my yesterday's dream.

*Scene: Some conversation between us housemates at home about the dinner we had. (I couldn't really remember.. It was something like that)

Ah Bai : Bla bla bla... The meal I ate. You remember?

Me : Um.. No.. I forgot.

AB : What? How can you forget what I ate?

Me : Because I hate you.

AB : (Dumbfounded) Huh? You hate me?? Bbbbut.. why?

Me : I don't hate you in the want-to-kill-you kind of way. We are just not compatible. I don't like talking to you.

AB : Bbbut.. but.. we are housemates.. we should compromise.. surely we can work it out?

Me : Nuh uh.

AB : Okay.. FINE.. since you cannot remember what I eat and you hate me, next time DON'T EAT WITH ME ANYMORE.

Me : EXCUSE ME. Next time YOU don't eat with us anymore.

AB : But but..

Me : You are the junior. We are the seniors.

AB : Hmmp.... Beep beep beep beep... beep beep beep beep

(No. He wasn't swearing. It was just my alarm clock)

Ah.. felt so good after that dream.

There's something about this house

2005-10-13T15:26:00.000+08:00

I don't know. My apartment is wierd. Usually, housemates becomes more quiet as exam approaches. They bury themselves in the piles of books and notes, spend less time chatting with you.

Not B1107 Ridzuan Condominium, PJS10.

You get more Chor Tai Ti.

More chatting, more laughters.

More trash talking, rubbish conversations.

Something I didn't notice before this

2005-10-08T16:49:00.000+08:00

When I was in the Pudu bus station this morning to catch my bus back to Malacca, I walked past the little entrance into the lobby of the Pudu Raya Hotel.

Yeah. This one. The sad Pudu Raya Hotel.

They displayed their room rates on the glass panel.

"Promotional Rate: RM88 a night".

And below it:

"RM35 - Hourly rate"

Oh...

Haha.

I'm smart enough NOT to enter politics

2005-10-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

I don't like politics - Most politicians are just a bunch of idiots who think of themselves as smart asses and others as fools and that they should lead the others. Commenting on them, i feel sometimes, insults my intelligence, but I couldn't help wanting to write something about the latest development on the AP issue.

They requested for Rafidah before the House to clear up the AP issue. They wanted to question her. In short - they wanted her DOWN.

For what reason? It's obvious - most of these politicians are nothing more than MCPs. "Oh look, how can a woman hold such a high post? Let's get her for this." Male ego.

I'll not comment on whether Rafidah had practised favouritism when issuing the APs. But I do know one thing : All those who are blaming Rafidah are just hypocrites. As if you all didn't misuse your power.

Forget about your ideal world where everything's perfect. I believe that corruption in politics is inevitable, and at low levels, tolerable. As long as the leader has calibre and can contribute to the country, I'll tolerate with a little corruption.

Think about it, how come nobody made that much fuss about falling flyovers?

Oh right, my blog.

2005-10-05T11:44:00.000+08:00

Right. It's been more than a week since my last post. Am blaming it on the slow internet connection in the computer lab.

Geez. It's my last week of college. Another double period of Ecomomics, 2 more days of classes, and my last academic semester here in Taylors will be over.

This is horrible cliche - but, really - it felt like I just stepped into Taylors a day or two ago. But then again, why are we calling it a cliche? Maybe this phrase is used so many times because people really feel that way. You're not lying or saying it for the sake of being sentimental, but because it's true.

Remember when you're young, how many times you used to tell your mum, "Ma, I'm hungry"? This phrase is probably used all across the globe millions of times everyday.

Why don't people call that phrase a cliche? Hmmp...

Tanglung

2005-09-26T14:02:00.000+08:00

*This post is a week due. Sorry for not posting for so long -I had been a little busy lately.

Haha.. I played tanglung (lanterns) with my sister on the previous Saturday - it's been years since we last did it together. Nevermind if it's childish or not, it's fun. Saved for all the burns from the melted wax.

Tanglung casualty? One. Caught fire.

(Picture inset: Tanglung after being thrown onto the floor and stepped on many times)

And my favourite picture:

Sigh. I doubt people play tanglung in Australia. I'll miss all the fun.

OucH oUch OuCh...

2005-09-15T15:28:00.000+08:00

I drove along the same road and passed the dead cat again.

I noticed that it got flatter.

Third time around, it was worse than a pancake.

OuCh..

2005-09-15T11:10:00.000+08:00

I was driving around town this morning, running errands, and I saw a, um.. not so wonderful sight.

I didn't exactly see how it happened. I saw the result. Errgh..

You see, this kitten decided to cross this road...

(maybe to meet the chicken on the other side of the road) But perhaps some driver woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, and drove a little too aggresively. The chicken never got to meet his friend, the kitten....

The result?

I've seen dead animals on the road, but this is by far one of the most gruesome scenes I've ever seen. It was flat.

F-L-A-T

I couldn't even see the head...

Ouch..

The downside of the Internet

2005-09-12T12:11:00.000+08:00

The bad thing about the Internet is that you can never see the real person hiding behind his/her nickname.

You see, a month or two ago, this guy nicknamed 'human' wrote something critical on my tagboard. I'm always okay with critics, so I asked him who he was. He replied me "someone who hates you in college".

Oh. That was interesting. It's not everyday you can find a person who hates you, unless your last name is Laden or maybe Bush. I wanted to know who he was in real life, confront him, and understand why he hated me. Bah, he never showed up in my tag-board again.

Remember how kids used to write love messages and sign off with 'your secret admirer'? Well, they can be forgiven because they are, after all, kids, and they are 'blinded' by love.

In this case? "I hate you! From, your secret hater."

Pathetic. Pure uselessness. What a waste of my time.

And I would really want to know who infested_ysy is.

Self-advert

2005-09-08T11:38:00.000+08:00

Making friends is a good thing. The best way to know more people? Go out and have fun! Hang out more often, get to know your friends' friends - that's what I call real-life Friendster. Online messengers are good when you are stuck at home...

But advertising yourself in the newspaper? I find it sad.

Remember Malaysian Today? The free sports daily which they distribute for free at most colleges.

Yeah. This one.

They always have this advertorial page (called FriendX) for people to "advertise" themselves.

Yeah. Now this one.

Well, fine, you want to get to know more people through the newspaper-and-sms thingy. That's a little sad, but nevermind, it's still okay as long as you write a decent note about yourself. The standard being the "Hi, I would like to now more friends", like this:

But some feel that that's not enough. They want to make it fancier, ie, make themselves sound more pathetic.

See this guy?

You can talk about your good points, but saying that you are as cool as the moon?

This one? For those who hate law-breakers.

But some want to go a few steps further.. They already want to be your advisor/guru on life even before they got to know you.

Well, bad boy, you still look useless to me even after you've embraced that. And stop being my financial planner, jeff.

I think the whole point of doing this is to attract the RIGHT people to contact you. But...

what the heck are you saying? "I'm very ordinary and boring. If you feel the same, please message me"?

And since you are submitting a photo, you should use a good shot of yourself. Not one that would make you look like a perverted sex maniac.

This one?

Um.. I got no comment. I think the perverted Italian sex maniac in the picture above thinks that he's attractive...

Have some self-respect, people...

Stupid red button

2005-09-07T10:13:00.000+08:00

Maths

2005-09-06T17:14:00.000+08:00

Kid porn

2005-09-06T17:12:00.000+08:00

lmao...

2005-09-05T16:18:00.000+08:00

And you say that kids are pure and innocent?

Hotdog

2005-09-05T16:16:00.000+08:00

I'm a good boy/girl - Let me go overseas.

2005-09-03T16:57:00.000+08:00

Okay: this is for those who are going overseas to further their education next year. When you apply for your student visa, you'll probably need the Good Conduct Certificate. How to get it? Yeah, I'm telling you now lah.

Step 1. Click here.

Step 2. Read the instructions.

Step 3. Follow what the instruction says.

Step 4. Download the online form. (You need INTERNET EXPLORER. My Mozilla doesn't work) Photocopy your passport, IC. Get your passport photos ready.

Step 5. Do it soon. They need 2 months to process your application.

Step 6. Oh my god. You still reading this? Hello. RE-READ STEP 2 AND 3.

Step 7. Have a nice day.

No, you do it.

2005-08-28T19:01:00.000+08:00

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Tralala

2005-08-28T18:47:00.000+08:00

Blog in ICU: Reminiscence

2005-08-27T10:03:00.000+08:00

This question popped up in my mind some time ago: when will I stop blogging?

At that point of time, my answer was "Oh, long time more. I've plenty to write". Now, I'm comtemplating about ending wackometer.blogspot.

Lol. And I've been blogging for, hmmm, let me see, a year? (I started with multiply. This blogspot is 10 months old) - That's not too long...

Thinking back, my blog changed dramatically. It used to be a daily journal. My online not-so-personal diary which tells people useless things they don't want to know:

I wonder who would bother reading such posts. Seriously, I wouldn't.

I realised this. I began posting daily things which (hopefully,) people may want to know.

Gosh. i used 2 write usin short-hand net language... sounded kul in the beginnin. But I got sick of it. Proper english is the way to write - you have to respect the language.

I cannot go on listing the different types of posts I've written. You should be more than bored by now.

I don't really have the time (nor ideas) to write in the near future, so i'll just be posting some interesting pictures. I've a project coming up, and who knows, it'll end up on my blog. Wait for it.

Cheers,

JeySern

Tuesday morning

2005-08-23T10:00:00.000+08:00

7.29am

Damn it - my bus. Bag, file, door, Elevator...

7.35am
Bus gone. Sigh. Public bus.

7.45am
Triton Bus. "SS14?" "Okay."

7.49am
Oh shit. Different route.

7.58am
"Jacky, tell Maths teacher I'll be late." "Where are you?" "I'm on the bus. Somewhere"

8.00am
Eh? Should have turned right. Uh oh. I'm getting further and further away from SS15.

8.10am
Argh. Should have just waited for the 8.10 shuttle bus.

8.20am
"Lol. Hey i wont be comin 4 Maths. Took the wrong bus now goin 2 taipan =P" (sms)

Let's just enjoy the ride.

wrinkle

2005-08-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

Billy

2005-08-14T16:40:00.000+08:00

Billy wanted $100 to buy a remote control car, so he prayed like crazy for two weeks ... but nothing happened.

Billy decided to write God an urgent letter, requesting $100. When the post office received the letter addressed to God, USA, they forwarded the letter to the president.

The president was so amused by the letter that he told his secretary to send Billy a $5 bill, figuring this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

When Billy received the cash, he was so delighted that he wrote a thank you note which read:

Dear God:
Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through Washington, D.C. Next time, don't do that because, as usual, those jerks took 95%.

Love,

Billy

Three curry puffs and 7 cents to spare

2005-08-13T15:41:00.000+08:00

Balik kampung

2005-08-12T09:19:00.000+08:00

I've never really understood why people enjoy 'balik kampung'-ing during the festive seasons.

How can you leave this

for this?

Most say that they want to go back to see their grandpa and grandma and their other relatives. But why meet in a kampung? For a change, why not everyone 'balik bandar' for your next Hari Raya/CNY/Deepavali? You get to hang out with your cousins, go watch movies, have some fun time shopping and playing together. As for reunion dinners, for a change, why not treat your grandpa and grandma a meal in, say, JW Marriott? Or perhaps some fancy restaurant?

But now, (at least for the time being) I do appreciate being back at my kampung instead of KL. Just check out the difference and you'll know why.

View from my apartment:

and from my house:

Suddenly everyone realises that they've taken fresh air for granted all this while...

On my desktop

2005-08-11T10:25:00.000+08:00

Taylors has this habit of posting things on the desktops of all the computers in the college. Well, not that I bother reading them, but this one caught my attention.

(i) Oh. She's from Taylors?

(ii) Sometimes, I feel that those IT department people are attempting in a lame fashion to show that they are cool and 'connected' with the students. Formal matters like this - they should never use short internet spellings like 'msg' and frm'. But then again, if they are all that great, they won't be stuck working here in Taylors, as IT techies. And gosh. I didn't know Taylors can be so caring. Um, hello? Why not give us holiday instead?

I'd prefer flying owls to this

2005-08-10T13:52:00.000+08:00

Lol. Waiting for exam results sure is nerve wrecking. No matter how many times you try to assure yourself that everything should be 'theoretically' okay, there are always plenty more of 'what if's.

It's bad enough during SPM that everyone had to wait outside the office for the results to be released. This time around, it's even worse having to attend classes, wondering when the officer will arrive and knock at our classroom door to hand us our results.

Nobody paid much attention to the teachers. I think the door-window was much more entertaining - everyone was staring through it, gasping everytime a man/woman walked pass it. But of course, what's entertainment without sound effects. - You can hear girls crying outside, people talking/shouting along the corridors - How comforting. I'm sure now I can concentrate more on our lesson on Aggregate Demand and Supply.

I can't help thinking of the scene in Book 6 of Harry Potter where 3 owls came flying into the kitchen, delivering Harry, Ron, and Hermione their results.

And talking about Harry Potter - As much as I know it's fiction, I cannot deny that there's this little part inside me that really hope that Harry's magical world does exist, unknown to my muggle-ly ignorance.

Obituary

2005-08-10T11:32:00.000+08:00

Goodbye Greycloud

eushen

At least, do it with style.

2005-08-06T10:39:00.000+08:00

I never like smokers. What's the point of burning your own money to damage your own health?

But as much as I dislike you smokers out there, I've a message for you all. Smoke, if you must, with style.

I can never understand why college students enjoy smoking in the toilets. Oh, wow.. look at me puffing away, enjoying the ammonia vapour and the sight of people peeing beside me.

I can imagine rich businessmen telling each other, "oh my dear fellow, I need a puff. Let's hang out at Dome, have a nice rich cup of coffee, while we enjoy my newly bought Cuban cigars."

But not "Hey mate, I need my cigarettes. Why not we chill out at the toilet over there?"

Same to all the criminals out there. You are gonna sin anyway, so you might as well do it big.

I know of some students who actually feel proud of eating at mamak stalls and walking away just like that without paying. (And they do it repeatedly) I actually feel sorry for them -they are stooping to a level so low for just a couple of dollars.

To all the petty theives - do you feel proud pickpocketing an pensioner's remainding tens of dollars? If you want, do something extraordinary - and take it from the people who deserve it. Ever watched Ocean's Eleven? It's wrong to steal, no doubt about it, but that movie is COOL.

untitled

2005-08-03T11:17:00.000+08:00

this is bad. Exams make me more sane as they get nearer. They make you realise that you've something so important that you have less time to think of useless things. I used to be able to think of crappy stuffs to write about - I've no ideas now. Do contribute some ideas, dear readers, and if the idea is good, I'll post something about it.

Well, of course i'm not just writing a post asking you all to contribute. Here are some of the useless observations that has caught my attention during the past one week of postlessness.

1. Rafidah, in her UMNO speech, used "Puan-puan dan Tuan-tuan" instead of "Tuan-tuan dan Puan-puan".

2. I saw an old lady with a 'Dalvin Klein' bag on a metrobus. How cute.

3. The people who translate and prepare the subtitles for our local television programmes are getting more and more creative.

No more the usual formal format:

Sarikata oleh:

Tan Ah Goon

After a chinese drama, I saw this one who decided to use his/her nickname:

Sari kata oleh

fran C~

hmm. and one more was trying to show the viewers that he's really happy with his job

Sari kata oleh =)
Kevin Federwho

Oh well. I hope you now understand why I stop posting journals for a week.

Soul Searching: Epilogue - Random thoughts

2005-07-26T10:31:00.000+08:00

I'm not trying to be blasphamous, but here are some random thoughts.

Now, the question we've always asked ourselves: Why did God create this universe? Why did He create man in the first place? What if we are all a computer game to God? You know, like "the Sims". Only at a humongously larger scale. Perhaps, we are all just made up of computer codes, programmed to live our lives.

Or maybe we are just a science project in a God school. One day, the God teacher comes into the class, and tells all the Gods, "Okay, for your science assignment this semester, I want you to create a universe with intelligent life. You have 10 billion years to hand me the report of your findings." Who knows, there can be other parallel universes, created by God's classmates...

No, do not misunderstand - I'm not trying to downplay God or criticize Him. No no, I do not believe in what I've written above. These are just thoughts - those 'what ifs' which you ponder over when you are too free. I'm not going to start a cult, so no worries.

Also, have you ever realised how minute we are compared to the whole universe? Our earth is nothing more than a speck of dust compared to the galaxies, so what are we humans?

What if our earth is just an electron, circulating the sun (the nucleus). Maybe our whole solar system is just an atom - for a much larger world. That explains the billions of other stars around us. They are only other atoms that, together with our solar system, make up a matter/object - our whole universe.

But on to a more serious note, think about it, how come God is paying so much attention to us? Isn't it amazing how God created a universe so big that we cannot imagine its volume, and then just concentrate on the little humans on this little planet called Earth, in the middle of nowhere?

It's scary to think how huge this whole 'outer space' is. And we, insignificant humans, believe that the whole universe revolves around us. Who are we?

Soul searching: Part 3 - Islam

2005-07-25T11:35:00.000+08:00

Now. I've to admit. - Of all the posts that I've written on religions, this is the most difficult to write.

No offence to my muslim friends.

Now, what do I think of Islam? Well, to be really frank, Islam, is sometimes, a religion I feel a religion should be.

You have one God, and you must pray (a lot) to Him. - Well, maybe because I've played quite a number of city-building games and you are required to pray a lot in order to gain favour from gods.

You do not automatically get into heaven for believing in God. Your doings on earth matters too. You'll be punished if you do something wrong. But if you repent, you've a chance to be forgiven.

Till there, I do not really have much to disagree.

But, I've gotta say this, Islam is really not an easy religion to practice. Maybe I'm misinformed, but I've heard a lot from my muslim friends, and it is just too darn easy to sin!

If you've hurt someone intentionally, slandered, lied, then, yeah, you've sinned, no doubt about it. But there are so many little things which if you do/not do, you're considered to have sinned too!

This example is given by my trainer in camp. According to him, Islam encourages muslims to have good relationship with everyone, irrespective of race/religion. Thus, if you happened to meet a new person who has just shifted into your neighbourhood, and in a period of 3 day you do not greet him, it is considered a sin.

I think everyone is going to hell.

Soul searching: Part 2.2 - Christianity

2005-07-23T18:20:00.000+08:00

There are certain things about Christianity which I don't understand, and would like to question, not to criticize the religion, but to know more about it.

According to Christianity, all humans are sinners. Why? Because Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. But why are you condemning their decendents for what the two of them did?

I never believed that it was right for China to still hate Japan for what the Japanese 2 generations ago did. Japan had once commited a horrendous act, it is difficult to forgive, but things have passed. Religions teach us to forgive. Love thy neighbour. Not hate thy neighbour for what he did yesterday.

Another point of view is that it is because Adam ate the forbidden fruit, humans were opened to the evils of this world. Humans began to commit unacceptable acts, and because of this, all humans are sinners. I think that this would be a better explanation.

But come to think about it, why did God create the forbidden fruit in the first place? God 'placed humans on earth as an image of Him' and created a apple which, once eaten, will bring evil to this earth? I guess that when it comes to this, we cannot question what God did?

Soul searching: Part 2.1 - Christianity

2005-07-23T09:47:00.000+08:00

*I've said this many times, but I'm going to say it again. Everything I am going to write are my views on Christianity. I'm not here to criticize the religion, but rather, to point out the things I agree and disagree upon. No offence intended (if there is any) to all Christians.

Perhaps I'm not, (well, ACTUALLY I am not) too well-informed about this religion, but I find Christianity a relatively 'relaxed' religion. I'm sure there are many do's and dont's, but I don't really see people practising it.

In fact, the main reason I call it a 'relaxed' or 'easy' religion is because it's so easy to get into heaven. If you are a Christian and you believe in Jesus and God, you get into heaven. If you are a non-Christian, you go to hell. Simple as that.

But what about all your deeds on earth? Doesn't it matter too?

Let's say there's this boy called Tommy. He's a Christian. Oh.. yes Tommy was a bad boy, he was once. He was a street criminal, he robbed old ladies, pick-pocketed, took drugs. But unlucky Tommy suddenly contracted HIV. He realised his mistakes - he repented during his dying days, prayed and did everything good. Will he be forgiven and be let into heaven?

And then, we have Johnny. Johnny was Tommy's good friend but Johnny was a complete opposite of Tommy. He was a kind boy at heart, generous in helping the needy, and contributed much to the society. But he was not a Christian. Does this mean that he'll go to hell and remain there forever?

Believing in God is a important factor, no doubt about it - but shouldn't the things a person does on earth be taken into account as well? Shouldn't Johnny be rewarded too for his good deeds, even if he did not believe in God? Shouldn't Tommy be punished for the evils he committed too?

If you are God, of course you would want the people you created to believe in you, but isn't their
doings/contributions to humanity just as important?

From what I've noticed, this has created a new generation of Christians. (I'm not implying that all Christians are like that, I'm saying that there are some that are like that) They will live life like normal - not to commit anything too evil, but not be too good either. And then they 'plan' to repent when they are older (in other words, dying) and beg for forgiveness from God.

And tada.. they'll be accepted into heaven.

Message from Above

2005-07-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

CK had sales, and I wanted new jeans.

I'll use my JPA money then. Where's the atm? I thought. So much for being told to "use duit rakyat (people's money) with care" at the BTN camp.

Atm card in, hmmm, pin number, okay, withdrawals. Done. Money should be coming out soon...

Insufficient funds

What?
Balance enquiry: Rm41.00. You can only withdraw up to Rm30.00.

You gotta be kidding me. I've more money than that.

Then, I thought it was a message from God : Don't simply spend duit rakyat.

I called up Bumiputera Commerce Bank two days after that and came to the conclusion: BCB is the WORLD'S STUPIDEST BANK. You can try to be stupid, but they'll still beat you. The Subang Jaya branch issued an atm card for my Subang Jaya account but linked it to my Malacca account which has no money.

Another Monday afternoon wasted, waiting for bank officers who never come back from their lunch.

I finally realised what God wanted to say to me : Never ever use BCB. But it's okay to spend the people's money.

And how I wish they have this in real life:

Soul searching: Part 1.2 - Buddhism & Taoism

2005-07-16T19:12:00.000+08:00

Buddhism is unjustly misunderstood.

Many say that Buddhism is never a religion. It is a teaching, a concept, a way of life - to live in moderation. And Malaysian Buddhism is not Buddhism. It is a horrible mixture of Taoism and Buddhism, so bad that nobody can draw the fine line between them now.

All the different gods and goddesses - most are from Taoism. Buddhism just teaches you how to live. Gautama Buddha is just a role model. When you present a josstick to the statue of Buddha, you are not actually praying to him - you are just showing respect to him, you want to remind yourself to remember his teachings.

Here in Malaysia? We are fervently asking for 4D numbers, wealth, good exam results - everyone is competing to pray with the biggest jossticks. It is as though the bigger the josstick, the bigger the chances that what you wished for will come true.

Sometimes, I would think - what's the point of calling myself a Buddhist, if I'm not even following its true teachings? I'll be better off as an atheist - No worries, at least.

But like I've said before, I like the 'moderation' idea, or the 'middle road'. Siew is right, 'moderation' is a relative thing. I guess that's why we are given intelligence to think and decide - that's why we are different from the other animals.

And I believe that this idea is very practical in the real world. Religions, in general, require us to be show love and compassion. But how much? Do you walk over to your neighbour's house to say hi everyday? Perhaps give them a plate of your homemade food a little too often? Treat people a little too kind, and they'll start to suspect your motive. Do no good, and you'll remain Mr Scrooge.

It is the one concept in a religion that can make it adapt so easily to changes in our society and civilization. The society, under the guidelines of the religion, decides what is moderate, what is socially acceptable.

Taoism, on the other hand, is something most Malaysian 'Buddhists' practise and I have to say, I do not believe in it. It's too old fashioned. Why is the God of Hell still dressed in ancient chinese officer attire, holding a giant spear/sword? Of course, it is just a 'representation', but I don't like the concept of the "Heaven aristocracy". Who is this "Jade Emperor" and why does he deserve to be the King of the Heaven? Gautama Buddha found the path to enlightenment, so that's why he deserves the people's respect. What did this Jade Emperor do? The whole Heaven Kingdom would have been relevant in ancient China, but I would call it obsolete in the modern world.

And yeah, Taoist always burn 'paper money' for the dead. Now, if the 'money' does reaches 'the other side', I can guarantee you that the Hell economy will be in havoc. Inflation will be crazy. Can you imagine everyone in Malaysia holding billions of ringgit in cash? Yeah, wan tan mee would cost, let's say, RM100,000,000? And if souls are to be reincarnated, why do they need money?

Why do you need paper cars, paper handphones, paper rolexes? We are just doing it for the fun of it, for the sake of continuing the tradition. That's all. Faith is no more there.

Soul Searching: Part 1.1 - Buddhism

2005-07-16T10:26:00.000+08:00

I guess I'll start with my own religion first. It's only fair.

I'm not trying to be blasphemous - I just want to point out certain things which I don't understand/agree with. I've to admit that my knowledge on the various religions are rather limited, so forgive me if there are any inaccuracies in my posts.

Now, on to Buddhism. I believe that two of the most important concepts in Buddhism are karma and reincarnation.

I like the idea of karma - You do good, and you may receive something positive in return. Of course, some people may argue "Oh, the karma concept will only make you want to do good for a reason - to be repaid with goodness" But I believe that it's the same for almost all the religions. - Why do you want to be kind, benevolent, and not do evil upon others - so that you can get your asses into heaven. "I do good so that I'll enter heaven one day." You see the similarity now?

But I'm a little doubtful about the reincarnation idea. You see, there's a difference between rebirth and reincarnation. Rebirth means being reborn as another human. Reincarnation means that you can be reborn as either a human, or another being - an ant, a dog, a monkey.

In Buddhism, everyone tries to 'achieve a higher level'. Reaching nirvana is a step by step process. If you do good now and achieve a greater level of understanding, you'll be reborn as a human again. Maybe you'll be a monk in your next life. You get closer to nirvana. You do bad things, and maybe you'll be reincarnated as, say, a rat? That is some sort of 'punishment' - you get downgraded.

Now - the problem - how are you supposed to improve if you cannot remember your past life? You don't continue from where you left of. If you were a monk before this, you don't get reborn as a monk this life. There's no 'pause and continue' button.

You start all over again.

And one more thing. If we get reincarnated over and over again - why is the human population increasing? Where are the 'new souls' coming from?

Let's create an ideal scenario - everyone on this earth are true Buddhists. We all agree to 'stay away from all the desires in life'. ie, no more sex. But the human race will suddenly cease to exist. Not everyone will achieve nirvana at the same time. How are those poor souls going to get reincarnated?

Personally, I do not believe that sex is wrong.(Don't get me wrong. It is casual sex is morally less acceptable.) Sex is a natural life process, it is we damn Asians who made it such a stupid taboo. Why is a species created, and what is its main aim? - To survive, to multiply. That's the whole idea of nature. And you are saying that sex is something unnatural, just a desire, and that we should stay away from it?

I do not believe that we cannot enjoy the luxuries in life, or that we should stay away from the fruits of our labour, and everything we invented. It is okay to live in comfort. I believe that a religion should speak more about what we do in life and how we should contribute to the society. It is the part in Buddhism about living moderately that I like.

After saying that, I'm sure you are thinking how lousy a Buddhist I am. Well, no worries, because I feel that way too.

Soul searching: Prologue

2005-07-14T15:06:00.000+08:00

I think it's natural. As you start to grow out of your teenager phase, approach the number 20, you can't help but question your own religion, and others too.

So many people are doing it now - We want answers to life.

The happy-go-lucky people whom you knew who didn't really care about this world suddenly became pastors - going around preaching about religions.
The pious kids who did everything which spells "good" in the past suddenly became rebellious punks.

I knew that one day I will have to decide my own future, my own path. I began thinking about it when I was 12 or 13. But then, I knew I had the privilege to be ignorant - "I'll think about it when I grow old".

I'm starting to get old.

Not that I've done much research about the different religions, but I'll write a part-by-part series about my views on all the different religions. Now here, I'll be critical, and I hope I do not offend anybody. Feel free to post comments and give your own views - But hey, please don't make my page a channel to spread your propaganda - you know what i mean.

Ulu Tiram: Part 4 - We said goodbye

2005-07-14T12:12:00.000+08:00

The camp wasn't what I had expected it to be at all. (Except for the lousy facilities, of course)

I went there heavy-hearted. The first two days was torture - We kept asking ourselves, "When is Saturday coming?"

The last three days was different. So many new friends, so little time. Many will be leaving for UK, and even though you say "Hey, take care, see you again", deep down inside, you know that you'll probably never meet each other again. Unless, of course, you pay a visit to a doctor in the General Hospital and suddenly pop the question, "Hey, haven't we met before in that stupid camp last time?"

Suddenly, I didn't want Saturday to come.

Ulu Tiram: Part 3 - We learned to miss home

2005-07-13T15:24:00.000+08:00

Toilet door which cannot be locked. (We had to use a clothes hanger as a hook to lock it)
Bedroom window which opens into the bathroom. (It's the normal shutter window, mind you, not your usual toilet window)
Waking up at 5.30 every morning for 'Pendidikan Moral' (except for the last day)
Trainer who knocks at your door at 6.30am, saying that it's 7.00am
Formal attire for talks/ceramahs, shirts tucked in all the time
Lousy canteen food

When I began typing this list, I thought that it would be a long list. But now, after six points, I'm surprise to find myself out of things to write...

Perhaps it's because things which were suppose to be on the list suddenly didn't seem that bad anymore....

10 people staying in a tiny room - More chance to talk/joke/play.
Washing your own plates after every meal - Heck, you'll be doing that too if you are living outside alone.
No internet and tv - So what, you don't need them to live. Not when you have plenty of new friends around you to talk to.

Ulu Tiram: Part 2 - We learned about 'Kenegaraan'

2005-07-12T12:58:00.000+08:00

4 ceramahs (that's 8 hours long, mind you) on the second day. Maybe i grew wiser. I'm not too sure.

What I learned from the four ceramahs:

Tanah air - It's more than land and water. We have to "bertumpah darah, berkorban segala-galanya, walaupun hanya sebuah batu atas tanah Malaysia" (Fight to protect Malaysia, even if it's just a piece of rock on the ground)

Rakyat - Use the rakyat's (people's) money properly. Then, I was thinking about a new watch and the creative zen mp3 player that i wanted to buy. Sheesh. Now i'm feeling guilty.

Kerajaan - Politics. The lecturer was campaigning for UMNO. PAS was part of UMNO...

Kedaulatan - Um.. I dunno. I learned nothing.

Conclusion: I became more patriotic for a few days. It was a good camp.

That poor girl.

2005-07-11T15:38:00.000+08:00

I was waiting for the elevator - my luggage bag in my hand, my backpack behind me.

One of the elevators was not functioning - probably due to maintenance work.

Then, this 6 or 7-year old girl asked her mum "Ma, why isn't the lift working?"

She replied "Because people vandalise them".

At this point of time, I was thinking, why use the word 'vandalise' in front of your kid - they cannot understand it yet, nor will they be able to learn it at that age. "Spoilt" would have been a much better word for a kid to comprehend.

"Why?" the girl asked.

"Because these people have brains but they don't know how to use it. The look like humans but behave like animals" as we walked into the elevator.

Wow. Strong words.

The door closed.

"Just like those college students. Look like humans but behave like animals"

I smirked. Bitch.

I couldn't be more close to calling her one. But then her child was there, there were other people in the elevator. As much as I hated the lady, I couldn't make myself swear in front of a 7-year old. They'll learn all those words one day, but not then. Not yet.

Besides, swearing would only support her argument. I'm not gonna let her get to the angry side of me. No.

I just hope that she realises one fact: Her child will one day become a college student too.

Ulu Tiram: Part 1

2005-07-11T15:03:00.000+08:00

Just in case you were all wondering why there were no new posts for more than a week, (No, i've not given up on my blog yet, and i'm not going to) it's because i had to attend the Kem BTN (Nation Building Camp) organized by JPA.

The camp? Right in the middle of nowhere in Johore. Using the ever reliable Hulu-o-meter, I've evaluated the hulu-ness of the camp based on the following criterias:
a) location - Ulu Tiram. As the name suggest, it is hulu. (Scores 3 out of 3)
b) handphone reception - ranging between zero to half a bar. (Scores 2 out of 3)
c) vicinity of the camp - a cambodian village, palm oil plantation (Scores 3 out of 3)
d) basic teenage necessities - no internet, no tv (Scores 3 out of 3)
e) basic facilities - small rooms, lousy toilets (Scores 2 out of 3)

There - 13 points out of 15.

(Of course, if you are in the middle the Sahara desert reading this, the location you are at would score 24 out of 15, one point less than the maximum 25 out of 15 for the fact that you can access wireless internet)

Goodbye stick

2005-07-02T17:15:00.000+08:00

Sigh. My mum finally sold the remaining manual car - The buyer will come and get it this tuesday.

No, it's not your usual soap-opera goodbye scene - I've passed the more melodramatic part of my life. I wont go hugging the car. It's too dirty and old anyway.

Manual and auto cars? - It's almost like what Dumbledore says in the HarryPotter4 movie trailer - "We face a choice - between what's fun, and what's easy"

I know how most drivers hate cars with sticks - But I beg to differ. It's the manual gear that gives the extra 'ummph' in driving, makes it fun.

Goodbye fun. Hello boring auto cars.

What's wrong with you people

2005-07-01T15:26:00.000+08:00

Friendster. Ah.

Now.. I find friendster quite a good concept. I mean, it's a way of finding out how many friends whom you know, remember, bother to look for their friendster account and also friends who know, remember you, and bother to look for your account. I support it - and you can see my friendster link on the right.

They have useful features. You can message your friends, post interesting stuffs, eg jokes on the bulletin board to be shared. Good to have a hearty laugh when you log in ONCE IN A WHILE.

BUT WHY MUST YOU PEOPLE OVERDO IT???

They log in to friendster everyday, read every single damn thing their friends wrote, and add friends they never knew.

"Wow.. 500 friends. This guy must be cool!" My ass.

They got more bored. They started posting stupid things on the bulletin board, and this irritates me. If you have a touching anecdote, a joke, or an important notice to tell people, I'm fine with it. But stupid surveys telling people the last three things you did?

Oh COME ON. To those people who do it - YOU ARE PATHETIC.

Get a life. Nobody wants to know the last piece of frozen pizza you ate, the first time you kissed your gay partner, the name of the last 4 children you had due to faulty condoms.

If you think people want to know that you are bored to death, you are doing it the wrong way. If you are trying to indulge in self-pity, ask yourself "You feeling any better telling people how pathetic you are?"

Love yourself. Love your own image. Stop being fools. And stop annoying me.

Oh anyway, here's something cute. (Click it)

I'm still breathing

2005-07-01T09:21:00.000+08:00

I did not expect my first week back in college to be this busy.

I think it's a combination of two factors.
1. It's my final semester. There are still plenty of work to do, a whole lot of syllabus to cover.
2. I'm lazy.

My 3500-word english group assignment is still in progress. The dateline - probably two weeks ago.

Oh two weeks ago, JeySern? Why are you bothering to do it now?

Well, that's because I've to answer to the lecturer tomorrow. Still thinking of an excuse for the unexcusable lateness. But no worries, this does not affect my exam results in any way.

At least not that I know of.

goodbyes and hellos

2005-06-27T17:29:00.000+08:00

Goodbyes:
My computer
Comfy bed.
Piano.
Malaccan mosquitoes.

Talk about malaccan mosquitoes - they sure know how to say goodbye to me. They usually don't bite me, but during my last night in malacca - they decided to give me a farewell gift. 6-7 bites in a single night. I couldnt sleep from the itch. Damn them.

Hellos:
College.
Homework.
Guitar.
Subang mosquitoes.

And Subang mosquitoes are bloody tough. They should make better mosquito coils.

We are all hypocrites

2005-06-25T17:21:00.000+08:00

You see a dog get beaten - you think 'Animal cruelty!'

Right. You see a chicken being chopped into pieces - you think 'Ah, Dinner..'

So what's with the double standards we are imposing? Why, for some animals, we consider it cruel to hurt them, while for some others we think of it as normal? Are you saying that chickens/pigs/cows do not deserve to live as much as the other animals - that they are only meant to be on this earth to be eaten?

You can say that some animals are endangered and therefore need to be protected. Alright. So it's only considered cruel to kill an animal if it's going to be extinct, and it's okay if there are plenty of them? You are saying: cruelty = killing endangered animals. It's like, oh look, there are so many cows on the plains here, let's kill them all we want and eat. And when there are a few cows left, oh.. we cannot kill them. It's cruel. Let's wait until the population grows to a larger number before it becomes not cruel again to eat them.

I guess you have to argue it in a different way. Undeniably, every species has it's own function, it's own niche in the ecosystem. For example:

Chickens/pigs/cows/fishes - to be eaten
Dogs/kittens - to be loved and adored by pet keepers
Monkeys - to be laughed at by us and let us feel more intelligent as humans
Elephants/tigers/other endangered animals - to be something animal right activists can fight for and protect
Sharks - to be filmed so that Hollywood and National Geographic has higher viewer rating
etc...

In conclusion, I think we humans have divided animals into two groups.

Group one - It's okay to kill. No cruelty involved. Our stomachs matter more.
Group two - It's cruel to kill them. They are either too cute/useful in other ways/endangered

Humans, including you and me, are hypocrites. No doubt about it. During meals, we talk about animal cruelty and how to protect them with meat served on the table.

I'm not writing this to tell people to stop killing animals - I'm not that devout a buddhist and I still want to eat meat. Nor am I telling people that it's okay to simply kill any animal.

I guess we have to redefine the phrase 'Animal cruetly'. If we have to, we should have 'killable animals' or 'non-killable animals'.

Tuesdays with Morrie

2005-06-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

I dun usually write reviews on book. No. This is blogspot, not multiply, where you can review movies, books, or share recipes.

But I read this book today, and I felt that I should share it with you people out there.

Tuesdays with Morrie.

It's a really touching true story about a dying professor and his ex-student, and the lessons shared between them about life during his final days. Enough said - go read the book.

But then again, I'm wasting my time. I mean - come on, it's a fact - you can try telling your friend 'Hey, this book is good, go read it' or 'Hey this song is beautiful, go download it', but they'll just go "Okay" and forget all about it. Most of the time. Or maybe I don't sound interesting enough.

But so what? That shouldn't stop me from trying to pass on this message to those I care. There's more to life than meets the eye. Sure, we love money, but cold hard cash and career are not everything.

Eh, what's this? JeySern getting philosophical? Oh well.. watever.

blasting the thermometer into pieces

2005-06-22T12:09:00.000+08:00

It was freaking hot.

Then, freaking cold.

Fucking hot again.

Now that I think about it, I'm beginning to feel sorry for the nuggets you take out of your freezer and put straight into hot oil.

You don't call that an essay test

2005-06-18T15:11:00.000+08:00

I was reading the NST this morning, and this headline on the front page caught my attention :

English essay test for PSD scholarship applicants

Oh? English essays? That's good - for two reasons:
1. A credible english test is important to identify potential scholars with good command of english.
2. I've already got the scholarship, so haha, who cares about my juniors. Good for them.

But then, I thought. PSD? Credible english test? No, they don't come together.

I read on.

"They have to write an essay in less than 160 words...bla bla bla"

"They will be required to finish the essay within 30 minutes."

What? 160 words in 30 minutes? I mean, come on..
1. You don't call a 160-word piece of writing an essay. Our SPM english summaries are 160 words long.
2. 160 words in 30 minutes???? That's 5.3 words a minute. Well, if your brain can think and your hands can write that fast, maybe you should not apply for this scholarship.

2005-06-18T15:00:00.000+08:00

I was watching the KL auditions for Malaysian Idol yesterday evening, and I can't help noticing what one guy said.

They went to his house to interview him, and he said "I'm gonna sing like I've never sung before!!!"

Well, I get what you mean, but literally, I don't think Paul Moss would be happy to hear that.

*Oh, and just in case you were asking - he didn't make it.

3 easy steps to be a lame ass

2005-06-16T12:32:00.000+08:00

1. Use high-sounding mumbo jumbo to make yourself sound smart when you are not

This is the very first thing you must master if you want to be a lame ass. Learn all sorts of bombastic words, and throw it into everything you say or write. Yeah, somewhat like how most students do their english essays for SPM. And REMEMBER, it doesn't matter whether the words fit your situation or not - because you are a lame ass!

Here's an example given by our lame ass grandmaster...

"Indecipherability quotient" and "sky-rocketing". There, you already know two more bombastic phrases.

So next time you are hungry and waiting for lunch to be served (like most lame asses do), just say "Mum! My hunger factor is sky-rocketing, and my energy quotient is indecipherably low. I need food!"

2. Attempt to be cute/funny - in an annoying fashion

Now, you are thinking - how can a lame ass be cute? Well, I did not say 'be cute'. I said 'attempt to be cute'. Perhaps, this is the most difficult point to explain as there are so many ways to be funny - so you have to use your own pathetic creativity.

As the lame ass grandmaster says:

Or, an easier way is to use attempt to use old english - people don't speak Shakespearean anymore. So for a lame ass to stand out from the other ordinary people, he will have to use it!

3. Be proud to be a lame ass.

There's no point doing something if you are not proud of it. If you want to be a lame ass, show to the world that you are one, and prove it that you are not embarassed to let people know.

For example, if someone calls you a lame ass (which you are), then say thank you to them! A little courtesy will do no harm.

[Note. Recap point 2 - Attempt to be cute/funny - see how the grandmaster pretends to be Elvis when saying thank you? That's what you call pathetic creativity]

And when people get sick of you and ask you to get lost, don't be sad.. Remember, smile and leave. After all, everybody wants a happy lame ass, not a crying lame ass.

There, what are you waiting for. Practise these three points and you will not go wrong. Our grandmaster is recruiting new lame asses out there.

Uncle Ass wants you

*I would love to give you more examples on how to be a lame ass, but unfortunately i do not have the necessary creativity required to be one. That's why I'm writing this - to help those who have the talents to do so achieve their dream of becoming lame asses. And a special thank you to the grandmaster for his generous help in providing examples for this piece of writing.

another 3 cents from you

2005-06-15T09:46:00.000+08:00

It feels just like you are passing the baton to the juniors (except that there are no batons involved)

It was just about 12 months ago, around this time of the year, when i became the 'new batch' of jpa scholars. I was filling in forms, going for medical check-ups, getting gurantors' signatures - all excited about going to the new college we are assigned to.

And wham, now you got new people. You become the senior. You become old.

But I'm no girl, and I feel good getting older and more matured.

Sweet

2005-06-13T13:23:00.000+08:00

Qualifying was disappointing - so I didn't want to watch the race.

And I missed this...

Good job Kimi. And keep it up Alonso - continue crashing.

On behalf of SOME of the teachers I LIKE

2005-06-12T18:31:00.000+08:00

Most people think that being a teacher is really easy.

Yeah, everyone says "Oh, teachers get plenty of holidays, teachers get to go home early, and they earn tonnes of money from tuitions."

It's not that easy.

So what if you go home early? You still have homework. Teachers are not magicians, they can't wave their magic wands and get all the students' work marked just like that. They need to sit down, read through 40+ students' homework per class, and not to forget the office paper work that had to be done.

Holidays? Well, you have exam papers to mark. My mum is a chemistry teacher and this is what she must go through during her two weeks of break - mid term papers.

And.. haha.. you must be thinking, "oh.. marking papers are easy. If the answer is right, we give it a tick, if it's wrong, we give it a cross." How teachers wish it's as simple as that.

Students come up with all sort of ridiculous answers which make teachers go, "Eh? Did I teach you that?". You ask the student to draw a simple diagram, and you get:

Heck, the retort stand is connected to the 'penunu Bunsen' (Bunsen burner) and the gas tap. And the boiling tube is floating freely in the water.

Handwriting. Ah... another major problem. Well, untidy handwriting is sometimes tolerable, but if you cannot even read the student's name, then that's too much.

Try figuring this person's name.

And then you have cases of students who are "too-free".

When's the last time you said thank you to your teacher sincerely? (No. Your daily "Terima Kasih Cikgu" chanting before the teacher leaves the class doesn't count)

Foaming

2005-06-12T17:55:00.000+08:00

I tried to help my mum wash the lace curtains this afternoon - But added a little too much detergent.

Horror Story - Breetney Goes Skating

2005-06-10T11:55:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there lived a sweet pretty little girl named Breetney. Here.. Look at her!

Then , one fine day, Breetney said to herself, "I'm through with being a bitch. Let's try something new. Oh.. I know.. maybe ice skating!"

So Breetney paid RM15 to enter the ice skating rink in Sunway Pyramid. (Well.. RM15 is the special student rate and Breetney was no student. But hey, there are plenty of things you can get away with with your boobs)

So she started skating - but remember, she's a beginner - so she fell a couple of times. Not willing to give up, she stood up and started skating again. Suddenly she heard a voice (similar to Keveen) from above "Hey Breetney, what time is dinner?"

She opened her mouth wide to shout "Whhat?" but she slipped and fell - face forward (spread eagle style)

Wham. Front teeth got stuck in ice.

But Breetney was a brave girl. She tugged and pulled, until her teeth broke. - Half of them in the ice, half of them still with Breetney- and there was blood all over. But look, she can still smile for our camera!

And hey.. don't worry too much for Breetney.

*This story is a fiction based on the true story by Eushen. Any resemblence in the story to anyone you know in this world is probably coincidental.

And what did I do this time?

2005-06-10T11:17:00.000+08:00

I was going to edit some pictures for my next post, so i opened my Adobe Photoshop.

Hm.. version 6.0 that's so old. Maybe I should update it.

So tralala... i downloaded it.. Installed it.

Do you wanna restart your computer?

No.

Really?

Yeah.

You very sure?

Yeah.. Shut up.

Okay. Now I regret it. I tried to open it without restarting my computer - it usually works - but this time, they gave me this.

Sigh. I restarted the computer. It's still the same.

Sigh, I need to make a trip to the computer shop - need to reinstall a new version.

Oh.. wateva

2005-06-08T15:40:00.000+08:00

Right.. i'm fully aware that this blog needs face lift.

But i'm feeling really down right now. So here goes.

If we are all lucky, maybe i'll have the tagboard and my links up and running by tomorrow.

Or maybe the day after tomorrow. I need some allowance.

Or maybe the next day.

inspirationless

2005-06-07T21:55:00.000+08:00

I noticed something. Holidays get worse and worse as you grow up.

I can still remember how fun holidays used to be. Remember the time when we were still kids? Yeah.. you just finished your standard one exam, and you have like 1 and a half months of holiday? And what did you do? - spend your whole morning watching "Alam Ria Bersama Disney", "KFC hour".

Yeah.. remember Chicky?

KFC used to be just as good as McDonalds. They had KFC hour when McDonalds don't. And then they decided to go for a swim in the drain. But anyway that's not the main point.

It was so easy to entertain kids. Too easy. It's just as easy as killing kids in horror movies. You can stranggle them with cordless phones. (Pablo Francisco)

And remember how long holidays used to be? Yeah.. Holidays were like FOREVER. 7 weeks of holiday? FOREVER. Chinese New Year break? FOREVER. The hundred ringgit from your Angpow Collection? MILLIONS. And you don't have to worry about forgetting to go back to school. They sure know how to remind you.

Back to school promotions. Need new shoes? Here you go.. Mr Robot got something white for you. Something you have to wash and whiten every week.

Ah. Life used to be so different. So easy. So stress free. So cheap.

Now? Sigh. I don't know. The first few days after exams can be super fun, but a few days into it, boredom sets in, killing you so gently and softly. yet painfully.

On frozen water

2005-06-05T18:31:00.000+08:00

Goodbye semester 2. Farewell exams.

Ice skating was not what i had imagined it to be. It wasn't as difficult as i had imagined, but neither was it easy. It just made me admire those people who can jump and skate and turn and spin on that surface.

Credits to EuShen and all the people whom i din't know who saved me from falling so many times. It was fun.

It cannot get worse than this

2005-05-30T08:57:00.000+08:00

Watching TVs and movies on screens can be really fun. And then, there's adverts.

To be really frank, there's nothing wrong with adverts. Afterall, you get to watch free programmes on television, (Not including Astro, of course) get updates on the latest football news, and watch live Formula One races (Damn that stupid tire on Kimi's car) all thanks to them.

And you gotta admit, they can really build up the suspense while you are watching the show, adding the extra 'ummph' in your usual pathetic potato couch life. Some Chinese kung fu hero is about to duel with the evil lord and then "Minum Milo anda jadi sihat dan kuat!". Right. Who can forget how it feels when Ryan Seacrest says "And the person voted out this week is.... We'll find out after these messages...."

You let out a sigh, and out of sudden, "If you're happy and you know it clap your hair *clap clap".

It has got to be the worse television advertisement ever. I can remember the "Tora" and "Ding Dang" adverts last time selling cheap chocolates to kids while showing Doraemon. Remember this?

I thought they were bad, and guess what? - and they're ten times better than "Clap your hair my ass" . At least the kids continue to eat the chocolates and watch Doraemon.

But after watching this? It'll be the last thing I ever buy (not that I've bought any Gatsby products before). Stop polluting Malaysian television, and torturing my eyes.

Oh.. and here's something interesting to read if you are bored

dark room

2005-05-27T17:28:00.000+08:00

Okay.. here's something you all should learn from my stupidity:

Never leave sharp objects on the floor in a dark room.

Geese. Now that I write that, I sound even more stupid.

Right. Here's the sharp object in my room.

Well,.. here's what happen. Sorry bout the gross picture below. I wanted to get something from my room, and i didn't turn on the lights because my roommate was sleeping.

And suddenly "OWWWW" my roommate opened his eyes, looked at me for a second, and then went back to sleeping.

Oh.. and here's my toe. sorry for the gross picture. hope you don't lose your lunch.

Help teddy.. Donate now!

2005-05-22T13:29:00.000+08:00

Here's my housemate's teddy bear.

Huh? what? You are asking too many questions. Hold on. I'll hold a press conference and Mr Bush will answer your questions.

Q : It looks like Mr Bean's bear.

A : Yes it is. Original Bean merchandise.

Q : I thought you are staying in an all-guys apartment.

A : You thought right. It belongs to a guy. Well, his girlfriend gave it to him as a present. But it's normal for the guys in that room to have soft toys. One has a soft toy dog called Amanda and another has a toy snake and Patrick the starfish.

Q : So what about this teddy bear?

A : Oh.. this poor bear was tortured by most of the people living in the apartment. Haha.. it actually reminds me of my own troops in Iraq... Oh.. anyway, they stretched his legs, twisted his hands, and did plenty of horrible things onto him. Then the press found out and took this picture of teddy with a torn groin. You can see from the enlarged picture that his fillings are already falling out. Teddy doesn't deserve all this torture - Saddam does!

Q : Gosh.. that's horrible! Is there anything we can do? For Teddy, I mean, not Saddam.
A : Yes you can help. Please show some sympathy for this pitiful fellow. Click HERE to donate RM1 to the B1107 Ridzuan Condo Bear Fund. Thank you.

Home

2005-05-21T19:24:00.000+08:00

Sweet home.

Good food.

Ever welcoming bed.

Manual car.

Computer with broadband and no web marshals.

Cash top up.

2 hours before maths

2005-05-18T10:49:00.000+08:00

It started like this. Some smart ass managed to install warcraft dota into some of the coms in the network, and then, suddenly, computer lab got turned into cyber cafe.

It all went well - until some of the smart asses themselves got caught - and are barred from using the com labs - forever. ouch. (so much for saving that few dollars) IT department found out - and now they are sending people to 'patrol' the labs - making sure students don't play dota.

Nevermind bout dota. I cant even play miniclip now. Idiots.

You deserve my respect

2005-05-17T13:20:00.000+08:00

and also a small place in my blog.

My partner in crime - Thinesh.

I used to think that he's just another studious boy, born that way, brought up that way. I couldn't be more wrong.

I would really love to share his story, but it's not right for me to do so. (but i'll leak a little) Let's just say that for a boy who has police criminal records and flunks his exams, he has come a long way to become what he is now - (you'll be one corrupted doctor in the future)

And just what have i achieved or experienced in my life? Nothing very significant.

I thought. A year finished.

2005-05-17T12:47:00.000+08:00

A year of hard work (well.. not exactly hard work)

A year of figuring out if conclusions follow reasons, reading assumptions between the lines, identifying flaws within flawlessness.

A year of wondering if the three useless kids broke the window, if bully-turn-goody-good-boy Jed started the fight, if Andrew Ames did send the letter(for an accountant, he's really stupid at fabricating letters), if the gardener stole 700 euros and did not share it with me (he deserves to be caught), if the fat ass deserve compensation for falling in the hotel bath tub.

Four hours - 2 hours to choose answers between A, B, C, D, and E. Another 2 hours to investigate if Tariq started the fire in school, if the government should ban unhealthy food, and if speed cameras are useless.

it's all over. Goodbye thinking skills.